Who is having the TANTRUM? My child or me?Jul 16, 2022
My 4-year old and I have been going through a bit of a rough patch lately. There are lots of arguments, discussions, which I tend to solve with things like:
“If you don’t do this, then….”
“If you don’t do this, I will take away….”
“If you don’t do this, you won’t get….”
Puh. It’s not right. I know.
But this is not a parenting psychology blog.
When I was riding home on my bike, it made me think - WHEN do these moments happen?
When I am stressed (I am making the “I” bold and underlining it for a purpose). When I am racing against time in our morning or evening routine, I am the one creating this type of emotional environment, that is perfectly set up for both of us to have a tantrum.
Me - because the plan is not going the way it should and we are running late (yet again)
Little one - because small children are not designed to run on a military schedule (slapping my palm to my forehead).
We definitely both are in better moods when it’s playtime, when we don’t have anywhere to be (or Mama has some time before dinner needs to be cooked).
Last night, I told my husband what a tough day I was having! And how upset I felt all day. That is definitely not how I want to end my day.
This morning as we were getting ready to go to school (in a rush as always), my little one already said “I don’t like this day” - and the day hasn’t even properly started!
That’s when I realised - I think it is ME that is having the tantrums - and my little one is merely copying my own behaviour. Ok, to be fair, he fuels it and very much contributes to my frustration - but is it really his fault? (Again, this is not a parenting psychology piece).
What I realised is:
I NEED TO MANAGE MY OWN EMOTIONS!
So out come my Essential Oils and it is time to reintroduce my morning routine.
Morning Selfcare + Better Emotions
= A harmonious day ahead.
It’s a WIN-WIN-WIN all around!
And the self care part is just a few minutes long….but it makes a world of difference…
Fast forward and checking back in after a week:
OH MY - what a difference we feel!
We start our days off much happier and end the evenings cuddling in bed. No threats, no bribery, no meltdowns.
YUP - it was mainly on me! We project so much on our children. And the reason I find I am triggered so fast by little one’s behaviour, is because he is mirroring me - and that does not feel good (in those particular moments anyway).
FEEL GOOD PROTOCOL
Valor - Place 1 drop on the inside of left wrist, and hold the inside of your right wrist to your left wrist for a few moments to balance your entire body system.
Harmony - Apply 2 drops, just above your belly button to calm your mind and promote positive feelings.
Joy - Apply 1 drop just above your heart to help bring happiness to your mind and body
White Angelica - Place 2 drops in the palm of your hand. Rub hands together. Then lightly brush both of your hands over your head, face, shoulders, chest, and down your body (not necessarily even touching), right over your clothes, as though applying a shield.
Final Step - Cup your hands over your nose and mouth & breathe deeply for minimum 1 minute (or 10 deep breaths)
Release - I've got a bonus oil right here. This is the one I use when I feel FRUSTRATED during the day. I take it, go to the bathroom, close the door, then just take a minute for myself - inhaling this oil (again for 1 minute or 10 deep breaths). It literally RELEASES my FRUSTRATIONS.
Ok - for the moments that he really does have a TANTRUM (not inflicted by me!!) here is what I do - and it works like a charm every time.
Being able to effectively engage the limbic system of your child’s brain helps to calm down emotions and moods faster than words or any reasoning can (and remember, it works the same for adults!). Using these high-quality Essential Oils helps reset our emotions faster. That’s because scents reach our brains in a way that words can’t - especially when your children are not in a state to properly hear you. These two powerful oils do the trick FAST.
For when you have that Zoom meeting coming up in 15 and your little one is beyond upset you cut his sandwich in half instead of squares.
1 drop of Valor and 1 drop of Peace & Calming II, diluted and rubbed gently on neck and base of brain stem. Or rub it on you, so they can inhale it while you comfort them!
Tantrums are the single largest factor that can mess up any plans we may have had that moment. Or heavily delay them...and make us show up grumpy for whatever we are doing.
But it doesn't have to be that way!
If you are curious to find out - why Essential Oils work so well for our emotions - then watch this webinar on Essential Oils & Emotions I hosted together with my business bestie Iva from The Momergy Movement.
I love integrating Essential Oils into all areas of our lives - get your oils by clicking the button below and I will welcome you to our community with open arms, so you can learn about them every day!
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